Embarrassing moments # 3

you can read E.M. # 2 here (also links to # 1)

I must have been about twenty-two...it was my first time on a sophisticated date. All my previous dates were more the 'Pizza Hut' kind. Anyway, my date took me to dinner to this really classy restaurant in a five star hotel, and I was a just a little nervous, since I hadn't eaten at such a fancy place before. The week before I had even splurged on a new dress just for the occasion.
So we sat there at the candle-lit table contemplating the menu. There was a waiter hovering silently nearby. Soft, classical music played in the background. At the time I knew nothing about wine, so I was pretty relieved when my date offered to make a choice for both of us. 
Then the waiter sidled up to the table and it was time to order. I thought 'Lobster Bisque' sounded nice, so I ordered that as an entreé. It was in the soup section on the menu, so what could go wrong, right? 
Anyway, my date and I were enjoying each other's company, and a little while later both our entreé's arrived. I remember being a little surprised when the waiter set down the deep plate in front of me, because all I saw were three pieces of lobster 'morsels' arranged artfully at the centre. My date had ordered a ceasar salad, and it was clear he was ready to tuck in, so I picked up my fork and began spearing one of the lobster pieces. At that moment I heard the waiter snickering behind me. I didn't want to upset the mood, so I just ignored him. Then - out of nowhere - another waiter swooped down on me bearing a soup terrine and this huge ladle. At this point there was one lobster morsel left on my plate. The waiter coughed and told me to please lay down my fork...I was really confused, but I did what he told me..and then, omg, I realized! I was supposed to have waited for the piping hot soup to be ladled on to the lobster pieces. My date was trying not to smile. And I was trying not to disappear into a hole in the ground.
Jeez...I was eating soup with a fork.
The two waiters were cracking up, and the one with the ladle really took his t--i--m--e to fill up my plate.
Somehow, 'Lobster Bisque' sounded better than it tasted.

Embarrassing moments # 2

read E.M. #1 here

This wasn't too long ago, so it's still fresh in my memory *cringe*

This was when I was still living in the big city. It was a sunny day and I had a half day off, so I decided to take a walk in the park and enjoy an ice-cream. I was still feeling peckish, so I walked over to the nearest hot dog stand and bought one with all the trimmings.
On my way back I suddenly started to feel slightly sick. It got worse by the second. I had just arrived at the tram station wondering if I would make it home without mishap, when all of a sudden the entire contents of my stomach decided to make a reappearance inside my mouth! By this time I was surrounded by crowds of people all waiting for the trams. I kept my mouth firmly shut, although I was hardly able to breathe and choking while frantically looking for a rubbish bin, a plastic bag, an inconspicuous corner - anything... typically, there was no rubbish bin for miles around. People kept shoving and pushing me from behind; I was pretty frantic at this point...I couldn't hold out any longer. I rushed over to one of the deserted benches and 'deposited' my mouthful behind it, extremely embarrassed, needless to say. Funnily enough, the people milling around didn't seem to have noticed?! While I was mopping my chin with a tissue an elderly lady tottered towards me and said, 'careful, deary, mind you don't step in that awful mess someone left behind you!'
At this point I was probably a deep shade of beetroot. I didn't reply knowing full well that that someone was me. Oh, the shame. I decided to take the subway home, vowing never to mix ice-cream and hot dogs again!
A thousand apologies to the poor municipal workers who had to clean up the next morning.

Embarrassing moments

I'm starting a new series of posts about my most embarrassing moments to date. Here's the first:

Way back, when I was a poor, cash-strapped student, I got a job at a retailer selling the kind of clothes your aunt Jane might wear. You know... frumpy blouses, elasticated waistbands, cardigans in subdued colours. Well, beggars can't be choosers, all right?
Anyway, the manager of the shop gave me half-a-day's training (including how to operate the cash register - yikes!).
I remember her specifically instructing me to say the following words to each customer after they had purchased an item from the shop:

'Thank you. Have fun with your new clothes!'

At the time I thought it was a bit strange, since these kind of clothes were anything BUT fun...however, I did as I was told, smiled at each customer, helped them select clothes, and when they bought something, told them to have fun with their new clothes as per the manager's instructions.
Then, just before it was closing time a woman came in and bought a cardigan/skirt ensemble in a sombre colour. The whole time she didn't say a thing. Just tried on the clothes, came up to the register, and plonked the clothes on the counter. I added them up on the register, told her the price and folded her new clothes up nicely before putting them in a carrier bag. I handed her the bag, smiled and said :

'Thankyou. Have fun with your new clothes!'

Upon which the woman turned and said deadpan: 'They're for a funeral.'

Oops.